Forgivness

At this end, you win. I strongly doubt you have won what you truly want. I strongly doubt you have won what you need. I doubt this win will leave you feeling the arousal you felt upon signing over the paperwork on the house with your second husband. I doubt you will feel the same arousal you felt on winning the legal battle with your first husband. I have no doubts there will be times you will lay awake at night with the angry words going through your mind.

I have no doubts you will lay awake with the recriminations playing again and again. I have no doubt you go through wondering what went wrong and why things couldn’t have been better. It does not matter how many sleepless nights you go through. I won’t be there, ever. I won’t tell you anything will be alright. I won’t tell you that anything can be repaired. I won’t tell you that you are forgiven, I won’t tell you yet.

I won’t tell you I would want to be friends or stay in contact. It will end. It will be final. You will have to live with the scars you created for the rest of your life. You will live with the person you truly were, and that person was very ugly through and through. I truly hope you find your win at least as bitter for you to accept as the loss is for me to accept.

Among so many men in the world, I truly never deserved the way you treated me. I truly never deserved to be lied to. I truly never deserved for you to take advantage of my kindness and integrity so that you could have more enjoyment in your vacation. In the end, I never deserved to have someone like you to come in my life to hurt me emotionally and financially. This is your win Ms. LeTourneau

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